I am NOT sorry for being a young woman with a husband and a kid.

Yesterday my sister sent me a blog post wondering if I had read it yet. I hadn’t when she sent it to me, but when I saw the title of the post in the URL link, I knew I wasn’t going to like what I read. She even stated in the e-mail that it might upset me. Many people by now have read the post I Look Down On Young Women With Husbands and Kids and I’m Not Sorry. The more I read the more frustrated I was with Ms. Glass. Not only did I disagree with her, but I found it very disrespectful to ALL hard working mothers (stay at home or not).

Amy Glass states:

“Having kids and getting married are considered life milestones. We have baby showers and wedding parties as if it’s a huge accomplishment and cause for a celebration to be able to get knocked up or find someone to walk down the aisle with. These aren’t accomplishments, they are actually super easy tasks, literally anyone can do them.”

I got married when I was 20 years old. I met my husband while going to school. We dated for 5 months before we were engaged and got married 4 months later, all while working toward building and maintaining our relationship.

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So I guess you could say, for me, it was “easy” to find my spouse. But by no means is getting married a “super easy task.” Getting married is more than just finding a person to “walk down the aisle with.” It doesn’t end there. After the ceremony had taken place and the party was over, we were given the blessing and challenge to build a lasting marriage. It takes work. Something we are still working on after 4 1/2 years of marriage and something we will keep working toward for the rest of eternity. Has it been easy and honky dory for us? HECK NO!!!But what marriage is?  I think it’s safe to say that just about every married couple would say that it is hard work to maintain a happy, lasting marriage. But it is so rewarding! Anything that requires work is an accomplishment. And for many that are not yet married, it is a goal of theirs to become married. When this wonderful event finally takes place for these individuals, they have met their goal. Meeting a goal is a great accomplishment, no matter how big or small the task may seem.

I also find it hard to believe that carrying and bearing children is a “super easy task.” In fact, I KNOW for a fact that it is NOT a super easy task. Six months after we were married, we found out that we were going to be having a baby. We were so excited! I had always wanted to be a mom! But on the day I became 12 weeks pregnant, I miscarried. I was so devastated! I can’t even begin to express how much I felt like a failure by not being able to carry out a task that my body was made to do – to carry and bear a child. If it was so easy, then why did it not work? I think of the couples who struggle with infertility and how much more they struggle with being able to complete this “super easy task.”

A year and a half after my miscarriage, I was fortunate to give birth to my now two year old daughter.

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But not until after I had experienced all the not so great parts of pregnancy. I was even diagnosed with gestational diabetes and had to give up carbs! In the middle of the summer while everyone was having bbq’s! At those events, often times the meat cooked on the grill was the only thing I could eat without spiking my blood sugar. Limiting my carb intake was a very hard thing for me to do. But it was important to me to have a healthy baby who didn’t weigh more than ten pounds when she was born, creating potential health risks for both me and the baby. So I worked hard for the rest of my pregnancy to take control of my blood sugar. From the time I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes to when I had E, my blood sugar spiked only 10 times. It was such an incredible accomplishment! But one of the biggest accomplishments I have ever had in my life was giving birth to my baby. To work for nine months, growing and preparing for a new life, hoping everything will be all right, and then to have that new life in my arms is one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had. The human body is extraordinary in what it is capable of doing! I would be among the last people to ever believe that having a baby is a super easy task. And much like marriage, it doesn’t stop there, even for working moms. Having the responsibility of raising her and our future children has been and will continue to be one of the most challenging things I will ever do.

Now I stay home with my daughter while my husband works. But that does not mean I have a “lack of real accomplishments.” I would list a few of my accomplishments since becoming a stay at home mom, but this post is already getting a little longer than I anticipated. But I would like to know what would be defined as a  “real accomplishment.” Is there a bucket list somewhere that lists these accomplishments? Because obviously, Amy Glass and I have differing opinions as to what defines a real accomplishment. I would dare say that a real accomplishment is defined by the person who achieved the accomplishment. Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. What may be simple to someone is a challenge to someone else. So do not let anyone tell you that you are not making real accomplishments or that you will never be exceptional just because you are a wife and a mother. There is no shame in raising the little ones who will one day grow to be our future doctors, engineers, business leaders, etc. Someone has to! Who better to raise them than their mothers? Many of them wouldn’t be able to do it without the love, support, and encouragement from their mothers. A mother can be one of the most influential people in any person’s life. That is what makes mothers exceptional.

I would consider it to be the greatest accomplishment of my life to be an exceptional wife and mother. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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One thought on “I am NOT sorry for being a young woman with a husband and a kid.

  1. Love your response Brenda! I hadn’t read that article before today and I was appalled by what Amy Glass said. I especially disliked this paragraph: “Women will be equal with men when we stop demanding that it be considered equally important to do housework and real work. They are not equal. Doing laundry will never be as important as being a doctor or an engineer or building a business.” Wow! Being a mother is one of the most important jobs in the world! And I will also consider it my greatest accomplishment to be an exceptional wife and mother!

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